I lift my eyes toward Heaven, my eyes that waver, flittering back and forth so often, distracted. “Upward!” I say to the eyes of my heart, yet prone to wander.
“Upward,” I whisper, “to the One your soul loves!”
Turning my eyes to the One who sits above, I approach the Throne of Grace.
And then I hear that Voice. That Voice that spoke and it was. That Voice that speaks each day and all is upheld above His word.
I hear His Voice. And He is speaking directly to me.
“O My Dove,” He speaks (Song. 2:14).
And an instant lump swells in my throat, unforeseen – as though someone just called me by that name that stops me in my tracks. My gut says it’s for me and my logic argues, “it can’t be – that’s not your name.”
Yet He is speaking to me. And those three undeserved words – “O My Dove” – ring in my ears and tear into my heart.
For I know what He means when He says it.
When He Calls Me Faithful, though I’m Undeserving
The dove is the one known for its loyalty and devotion.
The dove knows no peripheral vision – only forward looking and frontward beholding (Song. 1:14; 4:1).
He calls me one with an undivided heart when He calls me Dove.
And the lump in my throat spills tears, spontaneous. How can You say that of me right now, right here?
Overwhelming kindness invades when I was least expecting, so unprepared for the deluge of the only One whose is Grace Incarnate.
Here I was commanding my flighty soul and He broke in and called me unwavering.
[framed_box]Here in the middle of my distractions, when I’m furthest from feeling loyal, and the name He chooses is, My loyal one.[/framed_box]
It’s a name I do not deserve and can hardly bear to wear.
Like Gideon, trembling in the winepress, named “mighty man of valor” (Judg. 6:12). Like Peter, soon to cower before a servant girl, named, “Rock” (Matt. 16:18; Lk. 22:54-62).
A Kindness that Converts My Soul
And His kindness hurts me with its bounteousness. His words engulf my heart with an evaluation so generous, I’m left spinning in disbelief.
Though tears fall, logic still dares to question. “But Lord, You and I both know. I’m distracted. I’m busied. I’m worried. I am not single-minded in my love for You.”
Steadily and unmoved, He speaks again.
O My Dove…
[framed_box]And His words have commanding power that cause my own to fall, weightless, to the ground.
His words have drawing power to call me forth into the towering name He’s spoken over me.
His words have enduing power that actually escort me into the loyalty He’s named in me.[/framed_box]
These three words might as well be volumes, for it’s as though He says,
This is who you are and how I see you. I’m zeroing in on that longing in your heart to belong fully to Me, that sincerity like a living flame on the inside. And I know where that flame is going. I take weak love and convert it to consuming flames.
I see the end from the beginning, the small budding virtues that will become a mighty tree. I see as man doesn’t see, looking deep into the heart (1 Sam. 16:7)
Knowing that sincerity and where this story is going, I say this of you: you have eyes for Me alone. Not given to other loves, I am your one desire (Ps. 27:4).
And I am left trembling in the wake of a mercy that I casually assumed I understood, only to be waylaid by something utterly untempered, untamed and unrelenting.
And I am changed. Again.
For when He speaks that name, His voice rings in my ears round and round, and in the depths of my being this name lodges and takes root.
And slowly, as my heart increasingly is flooded by the Voice of many waters (Rev. 1:15), I find my eyes – those eyes I’d been commanding – now brimmed with tears of love and wonder…and loyalty.