I didn’t know how to plan for that —those weeks and months— when that test of overwhelming heartache came. It came in the form that we all face, in failures of relationships and the hardships with those we love. Yes, our Lord knew the road ahead of His friends that night when He looked them in the eyes and said, “Love one another, as I have loved you” (Jn. 13:34).

Relational hurt can be some of the hardest. A cold wind that blows upon the heart, bitterly.

I remember tears that wouldn’t stop and heartache that I couldn't hide. That’s the thing about pain.  It’s messy and unpredictable.

And though I thought I knew what I would do when the cold winds blew – thought I knew how I’d respond to the Lord when “the hard” things came – I just couldn’t have anticipated the layers of confusion, sorrow, and fear that whip through the soul, unrelenting.

And the hardest part? Harder than the disappointment and the heartache of injured relationships? Even the Lord’s presence felt far. I could not find the nearness of Jesus. Nothing is more painful or difficult to navigate than the two-fold test of pain with those we love and the seeming absence of the Lord’s presence.

When the cold winds break in upon the little house and even the warmth of the inner fire cannot be felt, oh the testing in those winds. Continue reading over here..